ABOUT

RESUME

Mr. Stickerbomb
Interdimensional Art Thief
Master of Multiversal Heists and Creative Chaos

Objective

To continue executing daring heists across the Multiburp (the craziest cluster of worlds in the Multiverse), acquiring priceless masterpieces, artifacts, and surreal oddities from alternate realities. Seeking opportunities to infiltrate new dimensions including the Multiparp and Multishart, cross the boundaries of good taste, and redefine the art of cosmic crime.

Currently hiding out in a somewhat boring parallel universe, disguised as a normie of average everything.

Experience

Interdimensional Art Thief
The Multiburp
2101 – Present

– Known for high-profile acquisitions, including a punk rock Mona Lisa whose smirk melts in twelve dimensions and a statue of David holding a boombox that plays a repeating string of mysterious numbers that scholars believe may reveal the secret to finally understanding the hairstyles of the 1980s.

– Navigated dangerous parallel timelines where aristocratic cyborgs rule over humanity, mutant toys have dominion over abandoned malls, and strange tentacle-faced gentlemen seek fresh meat to join their extragalactic jealousy cult – all in the pursuit of objects of questionable interest.

– Expert in orchestrating high-stakes heists targeting alternate reality artifacts, from high-brow masterpieces to cheap disposable tat.

– Mastered the art of the ‘mustache, glasses and dodgy accent’ disguise to smuggle stolen treasures past the Infinity Customs Bureau’s best and brightest agents.

Designer of Low-Tech Solutions to High-Tech Problems
Private Operations
2101 – Present

– Invented several devices to aid in criminal activities, including:

– The MPG (Multiburp Portal Gun), a highly dangerous radioactive projectile weapon that can destroy any small-to-medium sized object, converting its atoms into a quantum portal that leads to random places in the Multiburp. Assembled with recycled Large Hadron Collider parts and those lollipop sticks you can get from the hobby store.

– The MHB (Multiburp Hoverboard), a hovering skateboard capable of warp-speed travel. Made from an old skateboard deck and a warp drive, held together with double sided tape and string. Also highly dangerous and radioactive.

– The 3DG+D (3D Glasses With Added D), an experimental pair of anaglyph 3D glasses that allows the user to see much more D. Primarily used for viewing extra dimensions while remaining in the 3rd dimension. Crafted from cardboard 3D movie glasses and a DIY brain implant. Highly dangerous, radioactive and harmful to fish and other aquatic life.

Dealer of Multiversal Contraband
Bullshit Boutique
2104 – Present

– Founder and operator of an invite-only invisible space boutique specializing in selling multiversal contraband goods and services.

– Pioneered the art of transforming stolen works into avant-garde collectibles, disguising high-value heists as “found art.”

– Regularly generates buzz with limited-edition collectibles like UAP bumper stickers, subatomic trading cards and extragalactic keychains. 

Education

Bachelor’s Degree in Macrocosmic Larceny
University of the Unexplained, Dimension 3, Earth 1
2101 – 2104

Majored in “Heisenbergian Uncertainty Pilfering,” with a Minor in “Interstellar Disguise Techniques.”

Thesis: “The Ethics of Multiversal Art Theft: Taking What’s Yours from Realities That Aren’t.”

Skills

Interdimensional Navigation: Expert in traversing alternate realities to locate and acquire priceless goods.

Infiltration Tactics: Adept at breaching high-security locations in a multitude of astral planes without detection.

Artifact Preservation: Skilled in maintaining the integrity of stolen masterpieces, even through hostile interdimensional travel conditions.

Decoy Creation: Proficient in crafting realistic paper mache replicas of stolen items to mislead authorities and rivals.

Quick Thinking Under Pressure: Calmly handles chaotic celestial anomalies and spontaneous vortex collapses.

Hobbies

Scouting alternate realities for hot chicks, especially ones where the ladies have 3+ breasts.

Listening to the relaxing beats of the Multiburp’s #1 recording artist, Dr. Slowburn.

Collecting restraining orders from interdimensional celebrities for attempting to “borrow” their valuables. Stars include Todd Bruise, Robert Down-Your-Jumper and Natalie Porkmouth.

References

Available upon request, provided you can access alternate realities without being vaporized.

Get in touch by emailing: oddlyshapedarts@gmail.com

If you like what you see here at Stickerbomb Industries please consider donating so that Mr. Stickerbomb can continue bringing you magnificent marvels from across the vast expanse of the Multiburp. Thanks!